thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In the future we'll all be gay
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
