I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
