she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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