the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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