I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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