Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
