He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
