I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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