My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
