Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
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