i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
