I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize