I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
