Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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