that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
