first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize