I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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