It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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