I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
MIDGETS
????
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
