I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
