spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
