No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
