I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
