He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
