Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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