I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
