Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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