And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
