the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
