mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
