Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
