Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
