I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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