return my video game
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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