I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
