I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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