8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
