oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Everclear isn't food dammit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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