and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
