I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
