another moral hangover. fuck.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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