I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
