if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
