dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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