I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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