'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
