She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
