i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
