seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need a beard to bite.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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