Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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