I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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