Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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