anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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