No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have post one night stand depression
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
