At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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