so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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