a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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