i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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