every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
