you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
