made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
