I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
