i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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