that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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