it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
