1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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