Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
