Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
